School Life in 2024 A.D.

An interesting bit of paleofuture has been appearing in several social media feeds (on reddit, for example). I’ve converted it to text (below) for ease of reading.

RASH! My bed turns over automatically and I am deposited on the floor. It is eight o’clock and the switch, operating the above fiendish substitute for an alarm clock, is operated from school so that, at the moment, I am in the same predicament as the rest of the 450 scholars.

After donning my one-piece asbestos suit (washing being unnecessary under new atmospheric conditions) I partake of breakfast m tabloid form and step outside in lime to catch the 8.10 aerobus and arrive at school two minutes later.

The first lesson is English, and. AS 1 settle myself in my electrically-warmed seat, the English mistress places a record on the gramophone and, a few seconds later, we are listening to the “Merchant of Venice.”

Shakespeare is unusually dull and my thoughts wander as well as my eyes. Looking through the glass wall on the left, I see the town stretched out before me, a vast network of busy but silent streets and lofty, fiat-roofed houses. Over towards the south a score or so of small planes indicates the place where a junior form is enjoying its games’ period, while …… Oh!

I feel a sudden shock as the angry mistress, operating a switch on her desk, brings me back to earth again, by passing a current through me, and I wish I had lived in the old days, as depicted in the film of Ancient English School Life which is switched on as the history mistress enters the room.